The Chiropractor Part 1: Whiplash Reversal

Things are happening very fast. Ground shaking things. And they’re happening at such a rate of speed that it feels like whiplash. When I share just a bit of our story with mentors, they feel whiplashed just hearing what’s going on, and often say, “And I’m not even living it!” But the thing about whiplash is that it leaves a trauma imprint in the body. And somehow, while things feel LIKE whiplash right now, that’s not exactly the right description. Things are moving just as swift and suddenly and unexpectedly as whiplash, but they’re not leaving trauma and pain and suffering in their wake the way whiplash does. It’s more like whiplash reversal.

A swift undoing of all the wreckage from previous season. So swift it feels unsettling and yet it’s bringing healing instead of more trauma. My recent visit to the chiropractor was a visual picture of this whiplash reversal. God’s doing a new thing and I’m holding on as best I can for it!

Trauma and the Concussion

I hit my head so hard last fall that I got a concussion. (God miraculously healed that concussion when we visited Nebraska and my friend prayed for me!) All the symptoms went away. Except the thing that remained was a constant pain in my neck. A rib and my atlas were out since last fall and we’ve not been able to get it back in place. It got so bad recently that I could not lift my own purse and I was in so much constant pain that it kept me up all through the night. This went on for over 9 months.

So I decided that I needed to try a different approach. A friend recommended her guy who helps her with alignment but also does physical therapy stuff. Which is what I need for the hypermobility.

Everything in life feels hypermobile right now. I’m a person who loves stability and I’ve never gotten the chance to experience that. But one constant I had through all the upheaval of losing my husband while in the middle of a cross-country move were my chiropractors. They adjusted me through household moves, sacral contusions, heartbreaks, ribs out, more loss, theft and all kinds of unspeakable things. And they never charged me once. It’s an extremely RARE gem, someone who will show that kind of long-game generosity and faithfulness on a weekly basis for years.

They were my only real sense of stability here as we moved churches, schools, houses. It’s been a hypermobile season. And they helped me survive the emotional toll and prayed for me all these years, and they helped me survive the physical toll of all we’ve been through as my body went out of whack adjusting the the whiplash of my life.

A New Thing

So I’ll confess. It felt like I was cheating on them when I decided to try someone new who could do more of the physical therapy aspect. But as the pain in my ribs and neck increased, I didn’t have much of a choice.

When I laid on the adjustment table, I tried to relax and entrust myself to someone new. I didn’t want to try something new with the one thing I had stable all these years. He didn’t really talk me through anything and suddenly and swiftly, he turned my neck in a way it’s never been turned before. Something broke loose and it felt like a quick reel, rewinding all through my body traumas all the way back to my car accident when I was a kid. Then before I could think straight, he did it again on the other side. I’ve been adjusted for over 20 years and have never heard or felt anything like it.

Then I laid on my back and before I could even catch my breath, he did something else. I am NOT kidding. I had this thought, “Is my head still attached to my body??”

And I couldn’t see. Everything went grey and I flashed back to the whiplash from my car accident as a kid. And I couldn’t even sit up, but when I did with his help, I suddenly doubled over and began to weep. Like over 20 years of trauma that had locked into my body just got knocked loose and it came out in tears. It all happened so fast that I couldn’t even try to tell him my concerns or catch my breath between adjustments.

Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
    the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.

Isaiah 58:6-8

I’m Freaking Out, but Jesus is Smiling.

Out of my peripheral senses, I could tell there were like 3 women on-looking. I was weeping. And my vision finally returned, all I could see was the chiropractor. He was sitting in a chair at my eye level and smiling, really big. I felt like a train wreck but in reality, I was crying because something broken just got put back together. I assured my small child that I’m ok. I’m not crying because it hurts. I’m crying because it released something. It was surreal, the whole thing.

I think Jesus is doing that right now. I can hear the gentleness and joy in his tone when he speaks to me, and yet he’s moving at an aggressive, rapid rate. After a lifetime of delays, some “holy” and some demonic, I was used to slow. Slow. Slow.  Painfully slow. And now, things are happening at a rate that I can’t catch my breath. It’s like whiplash speed and understanding but it’s not leaving trauma in its path. There’s still tears and lack of clarity. But I’m trying my best to entrust myself and the wounded places that hold the trauma into the Lord’s hands. Just like I did my darndest to entrust myself to the chiropractor. I knew that any resistance would make it worse.

And same is true in my life. I know surrendering to God is my best option, but the speed with which things are happening are unlike things I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. It feels just like being on that chiropractor table, not able to see or hear anything. Except I do sense the smile of Jesus. He doesn’t seem worried about the crazy and the speed and the whole shebang at all. He just sits there smiling and encouraged that this is good for me.

May God reverse your past traumas just as swiftly as they came.

To be continued in The Chiropractor Part 2: God is Doing A New Thing.