What is lament? And why does it matter?

What is a lament and why does it matter? Even though laments come out of heavy seasons, I’m excited about sharing this today because it’s a fast track to healing in times of grief and sorrow.

“Why are you cast down, O my soul,
    and why are you in turmoil within me?”

Psalm 42:5, ESV

Yesterday, we looked at what are psalms and why they are so healing for us. The biggest category of all God’s poetry are psalms of lament.

pour your heart out

Lament means to pour your heart out to God and express what’s going wrong to Him. To lament is to trust that God cares about our suffering. To lament is to trust that He will act on our behalf. That He’s a loving and involved Father who is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love.

“A lament is simply getting honest with God about what’s hard.”

-danita jenae, When Mountains Crumble

I love that the biggest bulk of the psalms are lament. Over a third of all the poems there are lamenting to God!

This comforts us to know we aren’t alone in facing trials and tragedy. It also shows us that the Father is compassionate and hears our cries and values our suffering. That God would designate over 1/3 of His poetry to the cries of His children proves that God never tells His kids to “suck it up.” It proves that He doesn’t minimize our pain and grief.

Instead, He carries our sorrow and welcomes us to tell him all about it.

getting honest with God

Here’s a powerful excerpt on lament from When Mountains Crumble: Rebuilding Your Life After Losing Someone You Love:

“In a culture that tries to stuff, distract, numb, and medicate, few people know about another healing alternative: lament. Lament is a healthy way to express the deep agony we experience in the tragedies we face. An honest heart cry, wail, or sob releases it. But lament takes it one step further and brings our grief before the Lord, asking Him to do something about it…  

A lament is simply getting honest with God about what’s hard…

I think a lot of western believers get turned around in the intersection of faith and feelings. Like it’s somehow not ‘holy’ to feel deeply. Many other cultures are at home with big emotions, but Westerners are often scolded or judged for their emotions. Feel it. Express it. It’s okay….

If honesty leads to intimate friendship, let’s tell God how we really feel. Really telling God how I felt abandoned by Him somehow brings me to this place of knowing He’s right here. Been here all along.”

-danita jenae, When Mountains Crumble

write your psalm of lament

The psalms of lament are not just for us to read and commiserate with. They are also an invitation to engage in the same kind of heart cry to the Lord. They are an invitation to write our own psalms of lament.

“Writing our own lament is an ancient practice for good mental health, one our culture needs to re-remember.”

-danita jenae, When Mountains Crumble

The thing about lamentation is it’s never pretty. That’s why they call it an “ugly cry.” But getting that out of your system is first of all healing and second, “it “lament opens the door to let the Comforter rush in” (danita jenae, When Mountains Crumble). So take off any pressure that this needs to be refined polished poetry. It’s just being honest with God.

Find a psalm of lament in the Bible that you relate with and use that as a template to write your own. Where King David is crying out about certain situations and losses, insert your own.

Be specific. Be honest. Bring it to the Lord.