Unforgiveness doesn’t bring justice; it just digs a deeper pit
“forgiving” and “forgiven” go hand in hand
We will be forgiven with the measure that we forgive others.
That’s exactly what Jesus was teaching when He taught us to pray:
“Our Father in heaven, holy is your name… Forgive us our sins, trespasses, debts as we forgive those who sin, trespass and owe us.”
Forgive us as we forgive others. Another way to put it is, “Forgive us in the way, with the measure, that we forgive others.”
Jesus makes sure we don’t miss this and says it outright:
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Many want to be forgiven when we hurt someone else, but we don’t want to offer forgiveness to those who hurt us. But we have to lay the gavel down.
Many people think they’ll feel some sort of justice if they don’t forgive the people who offended them. But the truth is this. When we don’t forgive someone, we actually keep ourselves in bondage to them. When we do forgive, we are set free.
The parable of the unforgiving servant gave me a deep respect and appreciation for the power and necessity of forgiveness.
parable of the unforgiving debtor
Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”
“No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!
“Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.
“But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
“But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
“His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
“When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
“That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”
mercy triumphs
We all mess up.
People have hurt you. You have hurt people.
You need forgiveness. They need forgiveness too.
And in God’s divine economy, the Father made our much needed forgiveness codependent on our choice to offer forgiveness to others. (What a good dad move.) Meaning, our forgiving others directly effects our need to be forgiven too.
Another way to say this bluntly is this:
There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.
The best news is this… Mercy triumphs over judgement. It sets you free when you offer mercy, and it sets you free to receive mercy.
For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment. James 2:13, ESV
Til next time… Toodle-loo, and Peace be with you.
If you want to walk in full forgiveness and the full power of the Holy Spirit, here’s a prayer to ask Jesus to wash you clean and lead you in a new life.
If you decided to give your life to Jesus today, please let us know so we can share in your new joy! And seek out someone in your area who loves Jesus and walks in humility who can help show you the way.
If you have any questions, you can drop in comments below. That’s what I’m here for!
What if you’re having a hard time forgiving someone…what if they did something really bad (like tried to kill you and lied to you about everything from the moment you met them and things like that…?) what if you forgave them many many times and each time they did, they just hurt you worse? what if you’re afraid to forgive? what if you don’t know how?
Thank you for your thoughtful question. There’s a big difference between forgiving someone and reconciling with someone. We always need to forgive, but we do not always need to reconcile and stay in a dangerous situation.
(Also, I’m not a counselor by any means so this is just my general understanding of forgiveness and reconciliation and may not apply to a specific situation.)