Self-Image: Do You See This Woman?

Our community was rich as the dessert. We sat around the coffee table, piled into the sofas, listening to each other and to God’s Word. That was the first time this Southern Baptist raised girl was introduced to a new way of reading and experiencing God’s Word: lectio devino.

As a poetry major, I fell quickly in love with the liturgy of our International Anglican church. I loved the sing-songy way we did prayers of the people, like breathing in and out as one body–prayers from the pulpit, prayers from the pews. It was all new and incredibly delightfully beautiful.

Dan read the same passage three times, slowly and with care, instructing us to close our eyes and let the Holy Spirit highlight a word or show us a picture. It was a powerful way to engage in God’s Word as it washed over us. I loved it so much. And when we discussed the lectio devino afterwards, the Lord spoke to each of us in small group about totally different things. So powerful!

Do you ever struggle with self-image and thinking you’re not pretty or not seen?

Then take the time to read this, the imagery is striking and it changed my self-image forever.

Click HERE and you’ll find an audio version. I strongly encourage you to listen with your eyes close, asking God to highlight you what He wants to show you. (It’s about 2/3 of the way through the recording of Luke 7.)

36 One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee's house and reclined at table. 37 And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, 38 and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.” 40 And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.”

41 “A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” 43 Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.” 44 Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. 46 You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. 47 Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” 48 And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” 49 Then those who were at table with him began to say among[h] themselves, “Who is this, who even forgives sins?” 50 And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

“Do you see this woman?”

Everytime this passage was read outloud over us, I saw the scene in pictures in my mind. Jesus reclined at table, the judging men all around, the woman anointing Jesus’ feet with oil.

I saw two perspectives when they looked at the woman. The other men looked at her with disdain and judgment, saying, “Do you see this woman, Jesus? Don’t you know she is a dirty sinner?”

And then I saw Jesus’ perspective. He said, “Do you see this woman?” And suddenly I saw what Jesus saw. She was His Bride, dressed in white. He saw a woman who was pure hearted, full of love, and beautiful.

And then I realized that’s how Jesus sees me. I was looking at myself like those men, judging everything I did wrong, not measuring up, dirty, and feeling pretty ugly, to be honest. But from that one lectio devino forward, Jesus gave me the grace to see what He sees when He looks at me. Pure-hearted, forgiven, full of love, and much loved. Dressed in white and radiant in His sight.

From then on, it didn’t matter to me what I saw in the mirror. It didn’t matter what others said about me, whether complimentary or not. I knew what Jesus sees in me and that was and still is truly all I ever needed.

“How do I look?” The answer to that question was forever settled that very day. I know what I look like in His eyes.

How beautiful and pleasant you are,
O loved one, with all your delights.”

Song of solomon 7:6

Insecurity, inferiority, self-doubt, and negative self-image vanish under God’s Holy Word as it washed over me.

The cool thing of God’s timing was I had known this was important to God before I met my husband. I knew He needed me to settle the matter with Him. The thing is, no matter how beautiful you are, and no matter beautiful someone else thinks you are, you’ll never believe them until you know how beautiful God thinks you are. So in order to receive that from my future husband, I needed to first receive that from my Father in Heaven… to truly be found beautiful in His sight.

What about you? When you look in the mirror, do you see yourself the way God sees you? If not, I encourage you to ask the Lord to show you. In His own way, and hand-crafted just for you, He’ll write your own story about learning to see what He sees in you.