Giving our Children The Gift of Less: Clutter and Isolation

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above.”

James 1:17

The gift of less clutter:

My little one sat in a puddle of tears when asked to tidy her room. Her “stuff” caused a lot of stress back then. Stuffies, clothes, books, cardboard creations. Everything everywhere everyday.

When I prayed about what to do for her in this state, the Lord whispered, “Give her the gift of less.”

You know, we want to comfort our kids so we buy them stuffies. Encourage their gifts so we buy crafts and tools and books full of ideas. We want them well dressed so their dressers are billowing over. We want to teach them God’s word so we buy Scripture cards, devotionals, and printed frames with Bible verses.

What they really need is the hug from us that came with the stuffy. The quality time that came with with crafts. The security that came with knowing they’re provided for. And the blessing and prayer time that came with the Scripture cards and devotionals.

Thoughts to ponder:

But if we’re really honest, do we ever try to give these items as a substitute for our involvement for times we are maxed or exhausted in lift? I’m not saying we do. I’m just wondering if we do. And ironically, is the thing that prevents us from spending quality time with our kids the very stuff that we bought them? Meaning, are we spending our precious time cleaning up and organizing and schlepping stuff when if we had less stuff to care for, we could have more time to care for our kids?

 Writing all this down and thinking it through helps me see the clutter with so much clarity. What children really need is their parents presence, involvement, and support, not tokens or momentos of such presence.

The pain of less:

We want to give our kids the gift of abundance. We want to make sure they lack no good thing. Maybe the problem is with our definition of abundance and lack. It might sting a bit to give away 2/3s of her belongings, but the payoff would be less stress, more play, more quality time together. The pain of letting it go would be worth the reward of having less.

When God whispers to me, “Give her the gift of less,” I can feel he exhale and my shoulders release. Yes. That’s what she needs. That’s what I need too.

Overwhelmed by stuff:

Poor little dear is so overwhelmed by the enormity of stuff in her room. I look around the rest of the house and feel the same way. If not with clutter, then for sure with the large stack of lists of things I need to do.

Yes, there are seasons where we feel we can conquer the world, but I’m just not in one. Not sure I’ve ever been in one. I’ve gotten through the last years of life living on Holy Spirit alone. Health failed me. Sleep availed me. Community turned up empty. Church and military abandoned me.

And as agonizing as it all was… I see with more clarity on this today too.

God was giving me the gift of less.

Isolation and the gift of less:

There are few who can relate with the intense level of isolation we’ve walked since losing my husband in the midst of a cross-country move.

When we wanted more comfort, more community, more friends, more sleep, more support, and more stability… God was giving us the gift of less. Sure, these are all good things. But a good Father allows the pain of decluttering and removing plenty of good things in order to give us something better. In a long intense season of stripping down the comforts and even community, God gave us less of the world and more of Himself. In a way that we couldn’t have experienced otherwise.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

James 1:4

Protection, not punishment:

There’s no way to explain the pain of a season of isolation like that. But if by chance you can relate, then let me assure you that it’s not because God is punishing you; it’s because He’s protecting you.

He’s refining your ear to hear only His voice. He’s getting you to a place of overcoming, fashioning a warrior within you that will not back down. He’s growing you into a person who will obey His lead and give no heed to the accolades nor criticism of others.

In this refining furnace, God will truly become your Audience of One. This “gift of less” season will kill any remaining fear of man in you. It will let the spirits of rejection and isolation and orphan and abandonment die off.

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

James 1:12

The Holy shakedown:

Illness and isolation will force your roots to grow deeper and deeper in the Lord, purely to just to survive. It won’t feel like anything worth thanking God for until the drought comes and those with short roots fall and break in the storm that won’t even ruffle your feathers. And then you’ll realize what God was doing in you. And you’ll have such compassion for those bending and breaking that, in your new found strength, you’ll be there to help lift them to their feet and mend.

When God shakes down all that can be shaken in you, take heart. Because He’s lovingly giving you the gift of less. And God knows how to give good gifts to His children.

Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

James 1:16-17

Selah.