Deconstructing Faith and a Cold Rainy June

I live in the desert and it’s summer. Today was a high of 47* where we live. 100% humidity. That’s cold. Cold. Wet. Rainy. June.

All day long I kept saying outloud, “It’s June.” Not in a complaining way, because Lord knows we need the moisture here. But just to remind myself of what’s true. Because my circumstances made the truth feel forgettable. No. It’s not early spring in Washington state. It’s June in the desert, even though it doesn’t feel like it.

IT takes faith to believe it’s June 3 when it’s a high of 47* and colder to the bones than most dry winter days here. It’s still June even if it doesn’t feel like it. And God is still good even when our circumstances make this truth feel forgettable too.

My pastor recently stated that you can’t deconstruct a relationship with a person. You can deconstruct a religion or doctrine, sure. But true relationship with a person of Jesus Christ can’t be deconstructed.

Faith is believing it’s June 3 in the desert, even when it’s overcast, bitter cold, and even when it’s already been a long cold lonely winter.

Faith is believing God is good even when I’m in a new town, my husband died suddenly, nobody we knew is coming to our aid, and I couldn’t sleep at night.

Does it feel like June? No.

Did it feel like God was good? No.

When faith in God is pending on the goodness of circumstances, that’s when things begin to deconstruct. When faith in God is pending on the compassion and support (or lack thereof) of His Church people, that’s when things begin to deconstruct. Because that’s a faith that says God is here to serve me. And while, yes, God is my Ever Present Help in Time of Need… I’m also here to serve and submit to Him. Healthy relationships are a 2-way street. And many of God’s covenants and promises are also 2-way. We need to hold our end of this relationship too.

Trust in the Lord, and He will do this… He will make your righteousness like the noonday sun.

Keep your mind steadfast on the Lord… He will give you perfect peace.

Confess your sins… He will forgive and heal you.

We both have a part in this relationship. The crazy thing, in God’s economy, is that when we surrender all and submit and commit all our ways to Him, when we trust Him, He will act.

The healthiest relationships I’ve been in and observed are when both parties give their all for the other. But when one person says, “I’m here to be served, not serve.”… that is when a relationship does begin to deconstruct. You’ve probably had takers in your life who take and you give and give. Eventually, this type of relationship will either damage both parties or it will damage the relationship.

But a relationship that stands the storm is one where both parties have committed to the other person, to give their all, to give the benefit of the doubt, to both serve with all that’s in them. And this takes faith to enter into a covenant relationship like that.

Faith is trusting God is good even when my circumstances are far from it.

Faith is believing this is summer even when I’m wearing a beanie, down parka all day long and roasting smores in freezing smog.

And it was still a beautiful summer day even if the sunshine came from within the giggles of my babies, or the toddler who poured me a cup of imaginary tea in the waiting room. She warmed my heart with memories of tea with my little girl at that age with the same curls! Sunshine came in an adjustment of my neck that sent a zing to my toes and made laughter erupt out of me so loud the gals at the front desk could hear me. It was sunny on the inside. And I’m so grateful for a God like that–who paints radiance on the face of His people.

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him, and he will act.

Psalm 37:5

When we face grief, sorrow, trauma, devastation, chaos, and trials… there’s truly reason to rejoice. Because the sunshine of the Father is still there, even when we can’t see or feel it. And that’s when faith really begins anyhow. When we can’t see it or feel it.

This is when become babies again, growing and learning one of the first things about our spiritual development… Object permanence. That our Father is still there loving on us and smiling on us, even when we can’t see His face.